New York, NY
The crickets always appeared in late July. Their fiddling a sign that Summer was quickly passing by, and soon enough we'd return to school, cold weather and dark afternoons. I approached each summer with one purpose: never to see a calendar. That way, I'd never know exactly how many days I had until I returned to school.
This avoidance of calendars subsided over the years, especially once I left college. I was no longer subjected to abrupt changes. Rather, the Summer rolled into the fading warmth of Autumn without much notice. But this year is different. This year I've returned to the countdown.
New York City is a hard place to live. It takes more than it gives. But I have the dumb notion that living in this city makes me stronger. It makes me a better person. It makes me believe that I can do anything. And it's definitely killing me in the process. There have been moments where I barely made it. But coming out of those left me with a sense of triumph I hadn't felt for years. And that's why I stayed. To prove to myself that I can do it. To conquer the unconquerable.
And that's why I continue to stay.
But when September rolls around, my life in New York will be changed. The streets will be less crowded. The nights less comfortable. The city, less welcoming. With the turn of the calendar page, Lindsey will no longer live in New York City.
I've approached this upcoming Fall with curiosity and uneasiness - describing it as a season of question marks. There are so many moving pieces, what with my job, the company, and a few other projects, that to try and predict their outcome is a fool's errand. And so I approach September in a thick fog.
Lindsey is moving to Washington, DC in search of a yard, a car and the ability to not spend half a paycheck on rent. I don't blame her. There's something beautifully tempting in living a normal life in a place where supermarket aisles aren't two feet wide.
Like this Fall, I don't have a conclusion to this post. I'm remaining in New York, hopeful that the answers will be quick and positive.
