Fate Upside the Head

New York, NY


The first story I ever wrote was called "Atari" and in it, the main character (which was me) spoke about playing his friend's Atari and how great it was. The plot was weak. The characters were as developed as the pixelated sprites on the screen. And the ending, though lost through time, was something similar to, "I love playing Atari. The end." There was no twist. One couldn't dive into the story to discover the Atari was an extension of the friend - a phallus - and there was an entire homoerotic subtext to the tale. No, it was my first attempt at writing, and it showed absolutely no signs of genius, spark, or intellect. Most likely, the story grew withered and moldy and was eventually thrown out with a pile of other grade school projects that'd succumbed to their age.


In retrospect, and in direct opposition to everything I'd ever wanted the direction of my life to take, it has been an incredibly twisted road up to this point. I went to college for Architecture. I played the French Horn and Trumpet. I designed web pages and learned programming code. All of this, I suppose, was an attempt to hide who I really was. While I'd pursued these other endeavors with earnest, I was constantly going back to one thing ... creating stories.


In high school, while everyone else was getting drunk at kegs on the beach, or trying to score with the cheerleaders, I'd convinced my small but loyal group of friends to make movies using my family's video camera. And, unlike my Atari story, these had both character development and plots. They were far from masterpieces, something one could tell based on several of the titles alone. (Tampons of Terror, Green Balls from Ballivia, The Mystery of Anigav Island, etc...) But they were fun as hell to make, and probably represent some of my favorite memories from high school.


College was similar. While my peers stayed up late to build balsa wood models of houses, I'd leave the studio early in order to work the 4am-7am disc jockey shift at the campus radio station. While I sat at my drafting table, cutting and gluing together pieces of wood, I was dreaming of the skits I'd write for that night's radio show. (I got wise and switched my major to Creative Writing after the first year, though I took a major misstep when I accidentally enrolled in Women's Early European Literature. A mistake I realized I'd made as soon as walked into class the first day and noticed no other men in attendance.)


While working at Letterman was a fantastic experience, aside from doing the warm-up each night, or sending in segment ideas to the producers when they'd rarely ask for them, it was almost purely uncreative. They weren't paying me to think. They were paying me to put butts in seats.


The same goes with Marketing and Advertising. My favorite days were when I'd be invited into brainstorming sessions and help flesh out ideas. We'd spend hours coming up with stuff - daydreaming really. And it was something I could sink my teeth into. Though, I'd often have to leave early in order to manage clients and accounts. It grew worse and worse as I went from job to job; stifling away my creative urges in order to make it to that higher income bracket. After all, writing doesn't pay.


True, writing for YesButNoButYes was and is a highlight. But often I'd rush through the pieces I put together during my lunch break, without putting any real thought into them. I was overworked, stressed, rarely sleeping, and struggling to spend my free hours not consumed with work. But then, just when I thought all hope was lost, serendipity took one large step into the room, grabbed me by the ears, shook me around, and set me back on course.


As of last Friday afternoon, I've been hired to write for a pilot on Comedy Central. (Title to be determined.) My job, really, is just to think stuff up all day. That's it. Just sit around and think. Daydream. Imagine. Be funny. And it's like trying on a pair of well cut jeans, everything fits perfectly. I spent last weekend writing for the show and was in the office this week while we auditioned hosts. Today, I went to the park and wrote - outside and next to the river - for the better part of six hours.


It took a long time to get here. There were many wrong turns. But ultimately, I've discovered happiness. And it is with great pleasure that I say: My name is Adam and I'm a writer.

Beach Listening

New York, NY

It wouldn't be summer without me submitting a playlist for all your summer listening needs. (My apologies for the random links, it's becoming harder and harder to find almost legal Mp3s online).
Give Me the Meltdown - I want to not like Rob Thomas. No man is supposed to like Rob Thomas. But he knows how to write songs and make them catchy. This little gem (with a chorus of chords ripped straight out of Baba O'Riley) was so addictive that I found myself unknowingly singing it out loud on my walk home from work.
Ramble On - I'm anticipating a thunderous smackdown at the hands of the rock gods for even thinking about this next sentence. But I prefer Train's version to Led Zepplin's. I know, ok? It's blasphemy. It's wrong. But this song is so well done. Perfect for cruising in a car. (Convertible is preferred)
Alambre Alto - From the Cirque Du Soleil show Kooza. With its Spanish and Arabian influences, the song is aurally interesting and textured. (We also sample part of it for the 3 Chords credits)
Life, Love, and Laughter - Kayak for a Cause was lucky enough to score Donavon Frankenreiter as their featured performer at this year's event. We used this song for the promotional video.
Shake Me Like a Monkey - A kick-ass horn section is a great way to start off the best Dave Matthews Band album since Before These Crowded Streets. This gives me hope for the future of the band. Definitely a departure, but in a good way.
I'm On a Boat (feat. T-Pain) - For obvious reasons, this song has been a staple on my iPhone throughout the summer. (Even better when watching it with the accompanying video.) Anyone that can rhyme "nautical themed pashmina afgan" deserves a ton of credit in my book.
Rock & Roll - You'll enjoy this one.

Beach Reading

New York, NY

Recent stories published on YesButNoButYes:

• Cultured on the Subculture - In which our hero heads to Williamsburg for some peace, love, and understanding.
• New York City Sidewalk Rules - In which our hero explains to the world how to properly walk on the sidewalk in Manhattan.
• The Leather Party - In which our hero decides when and where is a good time to wear leather.
• A Scratch in the Attic - In which our hero is sent to his potential death at the hands of a mysterious creature.
• Jon & Kate Plus Who Gives a Fuck? - In which our hero wonders how and why we should care about a cultural phenomenon.

Please forgive the poor grammar, non-connected ideas, and lost tangents. Most of these (all of these actually) were written during various lunch breaks.